Chocoholic's Asylum

  1. professorfangirl:

    ultimateventist:

    charlesoberonn:

    If something is ‘old as fuck’ then it’s about 1.2 billion years old because that’s when life evolved sexual reproduction.

     

    However, if something is “old as balls” it’s only about 65 million years old, when placental mammals began to evolve proper testicles.

    (via pterodactylsandchocolate)

  2. (Source: desultorydeviations, via pterodactylsandchocolate)

    • me: instantly jumps to worst possible conclusion
  3. blackfemalepresident:

    ok but consider this

    1. stop startin shit w ppl on tumblr for no reason
    2. wash your ass
    3. get a plant
    4. listen to smooth jazz
    5. chill
    6. keep chillin
    7. dont ever stop chillin

    (via countingteardropsintherain)

  4. I already said too much. I already shared too much, and I want all my secrets back. I hate getting close to people these days, I always regret sharing too much, caring too much, doing too much, feeling too much.
    Unknown   (via corazonvolatil)

    (via misjudgments)

  5. But women can never be careful enough, can we? If we take naked pictures of ourselves, we’re asking for it. If someone can manage to hack into our accounts, we’re asking for it. If we’re not wearing anti-rape nail polish, we’re asking for it. If we don’t take self-defence classes, we’re asking for it. If we get drunk, we’re asking for it. If our skirts are too short, we’re asking for it. If we pass out at a party, we’re asking for it. If we are not hyper-vigilant every single fucking second of every single fucking day, we are asking for it. Even when we are hyper-vigilant, we’re still asking for it. The fact that we exist is asking for it.

    This is what rape culture looks like.

    This is what misogyny looks like.


    from What Happened to Jennifer Lawrence Was Sexual Assault  (via catagator)

    (via fuckyeahawesomechicks)

  6. There will come a time when you want to cut off all your hair. Do it. Realise that the thing you want rid of doesn’t lie in the long curls that frame your face so perfectly. Live with short hair for a while. It’ll grow.

    You won’t always want to talk to people. That’s okay. When it’s late and you hear your friends talking in the next room, you don’t have to join them. You’re allowed your solitude. It makes company sweeter and it teaches you how to survive alone. You will need that skill.

    In the winter, you’ll believe that nothing will ever grow again. You’re wrong. Every year, London looks like it’s on its last legs, wheezing through those last cold days in March. Every year, spring comes like an explosion and the city shakes off its sleep.

    Mundane problems will get the better of you sometimes. Don’t worry. Try as you might, life cannot be an endless, beautiful, intense moment. Find comfort in money worries and late trains; they’re a welcome rest in between heartbreaks and breakdowns.

    People will call you a cynic, a wry smile on their faces. Pay them no mind. You alone know that you are capable of a love greater than anything they can comprehend. You alone know that you are not willing to sell your identity and respect to the first smirking halfwit to pass by. It is not cynicism. It is reverence for your own vast and fathomless heart, and it makes sense only to love someone who understands that and is awed by it.

    You will not always get what you want when you want it. Accept it. Your goals are not set in stone and you are not on a fixed trajectory. Sometimes, life will take its time and you will have to play the long, interminable game. Play it well and with as much grace as you can muster. Live at your own pace.

    At night, you will occasionally wake up afraid, wanting to die. Don’t give in. Night plays its tricks, but you are not so easily fooled. Your mind will play its tricks, too. It will make you believe that you’re not who you are, but you must not give in. You take a breath and you tell yourself that you are here. That you always were.


    Practical Advice for Difficult Women (#20 - 9th December)

    (Source: psych-facts)

  7. tastefullyoffensive:

    [mrlovenstein]

    (via jordan-caron)

  8. (Source: witchsistah, via pterodactylsandchocolate)

  9. I stay up just late enough until I am just exhausted enough that I can fall into my bed and sink into immediate slumber. Because I can’t stand lying in a bed in a dark room alone with just my thoughts for so many hours and hours.
    (via psych-facts)